july 5good morning! last night, Xander and I went to see the fireworks. I don't celebrate the 4th for, well, obvious reasons, haha. but I do enjoy fireworks, so I went to see them with Xander and my sibling. then, we went to the gas station to get snacks, and we watched some youtube together afterward. after my sibling went to bed, I took a nice long shower and put on pretty-smelling lotion, and I've been working on a few little odd crafts and watching Netflix. overall, a very good night.
I plan on going to the "city" in the morning. by city, I mean a town that's big enough for a Walmart, lol. there's a new bookstore there I want to check out, and I want to go window shopping at the department stores. I really do love shopping, or really, just going out to look at things, have lunch, etc. it doesn't matter if I buy anything. just going out makes me happy.
not sure what else to write so I'll leave you all with a photo I took of Xander and I last night. take care!
july 8another week has come and gone. I did get out a couple times, so that was good. unfortunately, my allergies have been kind of kicking my ass the last few days. I slept most of yesterday, and tonight I've been kind of struggling to stay awake. I've managed, at least, thanks to a couple of sodas and knowing how mad future me will be at current me if I take a nap and further destroy my sleep schedule. I'll probably go with my dad to his appointment, just so I stay up long enough to fix my sleep. and maybe I'll even get a little treat when I'm out, as a reward, haha.
Xander and I have been watching a lot of SEA on youtube. he makes videos about space, which is a special interest of mine and has been for my whole life. I used to watch a ton of space shows, but unfortunately, they all feature a guy named Krauss who is a sex pest, so they all leave a sour taste in my mouth. luckily, a friend pointed me in the direction of SEA, and I've been watching a ton of him. I really enjoy his soothing demeanor and his clear love for science.
I'm going to go take a shower and clip/file my nails. I like my nails short for practical reasons (work doesn't let me have long nails + even if I did, it's more hygenic) as well as sensory reasons (feeling my fingernails feels Very Bad). I do wish that I liked longer nails, because my sibling's are always so cute, but I just live vicariously through them. I took them to get their nails done this weekend, since the job hunt hasn't been going great, and they were picking at their nails again. they got JJK inspired ones that came out super cute!
anyway, I don't have much else to say, so I'll leave you all. goodnight!
july 10hi, everyone! I'm at work, but I'm actually feeling pretty good. I only work a 4 day stretch, so I just need to finish up today, then Friday and Saturday. not sure if I've mentioned this, but I work 8 days at a time, and have 6 days off. I usually just call the 8 days I work my "week" because it's easier. my coworker needed to switch me some days so she could celebrate a friend's birthday, and I didn't have anything going on, so I agreed. my schedule for the rest of the month is a little screwy, but in August, it'll be fixed.
I think Xander and I will go out on Sunday. there's a new bookstore in a nearby town that I've been meaning to check out, but haven't. my mom keeps bugging me about going to church again, and I feel bad, but I really just don't want to go. not to get too deep in the weeds but I've been struggling with my faith and fallen back to being agnostic, basically, even though I really really tried. c'est la vie, I guess. I might make myself go on Sunday if she wants to, but maybe she'll be tired and skip. also, I'd like to go out and spend time by myself. I love my family lots, but sometimes, I want to go out on my terms, not have to answer to anyone, and do what I want without anyone else there. I feel a bit socially drained. like, I do love talking to friends, but I need my Millie Time.
the new Evil Dead movie is playing soon, so maybe I'll go see that. I enjoy taking Xander to the movies! we've seen a few together. for our first Valentine's Day, we saw Heart Eyes. we also saw The Monkey together later that month, and I plan on taking him out again soon. we just like watching films together in general -- especially on days when I'm super low energy, it's an easy way to spend time together and bond.
I tried drawing some tonight, but a lot of stuff just didn't come out right, and my brain didn't want to write, so I settled for just thinking about him and feeling him with me. he always brings me peace and happiness. I hope I do the same for him.