love“I love you,” Xander says softly, kissing her hand, lips barely brushing her skin.
“I love you,” Xander murmurs between desperate breaths; his hands are fisting Millie’s skirts, pulling them up slightly and keeping her flush to his chest.
“I love you,” Xander whispers in her ear. It’s morning, and she fell asleep in his room waiting for him to come back. Grezzo will be furious, but she doesn’t care.
“I love you,” Xander moans, his body pressing down on her, keeping her anchored to the mattress. If he wasn’t there, Millie is sure she’d float away.
Yet after all this time…
They’re laying together, the cool light of dawn just starting to stream in through the window. The familiar warmth of skin-on-skin contact usually soothes Millie’s doubts, but the last few days have been difficult. Her brain has been particularly unkind to her lately, and the beautiful men and women at last night’s party ogling her husband had left her feeling rather insecure.
Xander had taken her to bed, gently and thoroughly made love to her in an effort to cheer her up. For a bit, it had worked, but those dark feelings crept back as soon as Xander had scooped her to his chest when all was said and done.
“Why do you love me?” Millie asks, running her fingers over the veins in Xander’s hand. He interlocks their fingers and squeezes.
“Hmm?” He turns his stubbled face to hers. “Lil’ baby mouse…” Xander sits up a bit so he can look at her, and Millie instantly feels embarrassed and childish.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles.
“Talk to me, mousey.” Xander squeezes her close in the crook of his arm. “Please?”
“I… I never feel like enough,” she whispers. “I’m not very pretty, or entertaining. I feel like you could do so much better than me.” Unwelcome tears burn on her lashes. “Everytime I see a beautiful man or woman staring at you, I’m reminded of the fact that…”
“That what?”
Millie’s heart seizes in her chest. “That I might… That I might be your second choice.”
Xander sits all the way up now, pulling Millie along with him. “Listen to me,” he murmurs, cupping her face in both hands, “you are, and always have been, my first choice.” He kisses her forehead gently. “You wanna know why I love you, darlin’?”
“Mhm.” “You’re beautiful, even if you don’t think so. I love your nose” – he boops her nose, eliciting a sniffly giggle – “and your eyes. Your hair and skin are the softest I've ever touched. Your body is incredible, just so soft. If we weren't so tired, I might jump on you again."
"Xander…" Millie mumbles, flushing.
“And I love you because you’re sweet. You always look out for me, and others, before yourself. You notice the second I'm sad and do your damndest to cheer me up. And you've got a huge heart.
"You've never treated me as an outsider, or someone to put on a pedestal. To you, I'm just Xander, and that's all I want to be. Your Xander." He kisses her, so tenderly it breaks her heart. Why had she ever doubted him?
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I shouldn't… I should have believed in you."
"These rings aren't just for show, mousey. I love you. I chose you. And I'm goin' keep choosing you. But don't feel bad, alright? I know that… that your brain can be tough on you. It's okay." Xander lays down, pulling Millie with him, cuddling her close to his chest. His heartbeat is steady. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
Her eyes shut. Xander plays with her hair, murmurs sweet nothings she can't hear, only feel. Millie drifts to sleep, like a boat rocked by the sea after a storm: safe.