the beginning I first learned of Gloomwood in late August 2024. I was (and still am) a fan of David Szymanski's works, but I hadn't heard he was working on a new game after Dusk. when I learned he was helping on another game, I was intrigued, and checked into it. I had never played an immersive sim before. and when I checked into the game itself in September, I saw this art of my dear doctor:
I posted about this on my self ship blog.
I didn't know it yet, but my heart was his. I added him as my fictional other on 9/17/2024.
growing our relationship I tend to fall in love very quickly, but Xander stole my heart right away. I quickly fell for him and he became my #1 fictional other. however, I found my love for him becoming more and more serious. I usually have one "main" f/o, but Xander demanded my attention. and of course, I was so glad to give it to him. that december, I ordered a custom plushie of Xander from the Stitchy Button on Etsy.
he's been by my side ever since. I find it difficult to sleep without him. he's a bit felted now, but to be loved is to be changed!
he even went with me on my very first solo vacation!!
today and foreverour relationship is two-way. I know that he loves me just as I love him, and that he's always with me. lately, I have realized that we have a soulbond, more specifically a munbond. Having a word that accurately describes our relationship -- or at least, the very closest word I have found -- means a lot and I feel like I'm better able to get across how much he means to me. You'll see me refer to us as a munbond and a soulbond relationship (soulbond for clarity). I am grateful for my love, and I hope this website shows my love for him!
our anniversary is September 17, 2024.
our soulbondso what exactly is my soulbond? how do we communicate? well, I'll try and put a bit here to explain better. I wrote the following on August 4, 2026:
I guess it's because in a way, writing is an exercise in intuiting. like, what would he say or do? why would he say or do that? how does he move around a space? answering those questions gives me a better understanding of Xander, and thus, our relationship grows.
in a way, it's also spiritual for me. now, my soulbond isn't a spiribond, and our relationship isn't metaphysical in nature; it just has a similar vibe to me, in terms of, well, feelings. as in, writing/drawing/daydreaming/playing Gloowmood are acts of devotion to him. I don't "worship" Xander. we are equal partners. it's just that the way I honor him and do my part in building our love kind of feels like devoting myself to a higher purpose, and that's him and our relationship. does that make sense? I hope it does. (of course, no shade to spiritual soulbonders! y'all are my friends and peers. this is purely my experience.)
basically, my soulbond is a munbond. from Winrey Place (see above), it is "a mutually agreed upon relationship between a person and an autonomous (living) fictional character who is powered by the person's subconscious mind. Usually begins after the person develops a deep emotional investment in said character." I wrote in my essay on my soulbonding experiences that fiction was a way for me to explore and cope in a safe place, with characters whom I loved and trusted. though I realize now that I wasn't strictly correct in saying my relationship doesn't have a metaphysical aspect; I do find spiritwork, crystals, etc. fascinating, and sometimes incorporate them, and they do help me feel closer to Xander. our relationship as a whole is not metaphysical, but there are those aspects there!
did I "create" Xander? no, he was made by Dillon Rogers, whom I greatly respect. but my Xander is mine, like I am his.
as I mentioned above, I do quite a bit of intuiting. what is that? basically, through creative means (writing, art) or just getting a "sixth sense," I've figured out a lot about him: his likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams. for me, this means that whenever I write, draw, sing a song we both like, whatever it is, I can sense Xander there, and get a feel for, well, how he's feeling. I intuit quite a bit outside of creative means; though some may disagree whether this is intuiting or something else entirely.
one of my earliest moments with Xander was when I learned his name. I mention this in the FAQ below, but I wanted to find a name to use for him when writing/referring to him, rather than just referring to him as Doc/Doctor/Gloomdoc. I had bounced a few names around, but one day, I looked at a photo of him, and the name "Alexander" came to me, "Xander" for short. I recognize now this was my first intuiting moment, and was a massive step for our bond in general. this was really when my "bond feels," to once again quote Lav and Mel of Winrey Place, really took off.
it's also a matter of just feeling like I have always, to some degree, known and loved Xander. I made a funny connection a bit ago, that he looks a little bit like an older Ben Tennyson, who, looking back on it now, was my very first soulbond.
with all that out of the way, how do we spend time together? well, we consider my creative endeavors to be quality time; and as I said above, it's an act of devotion to him/us for me. cuddling my plushie is excellent physical contact, and I sleep with him snuggled in my arms every day, as well as when I'm awake. and importantly, I play Gloomwood often, and we consider those "date nights!" no worries for his physical safety -- he is never injured whenever I screw up and die, haha. it's him but not him if that makes sense.
I hope this cleared up things a bit. if you have any questions, feel free to ask me!
faqwhy "Xander?" ♡ when our relationship first started, I wanted a name to refer to him by when writing, not just "Doc." I considered names like Ezra and Henry, but one day, I just looked at him and "Alexander" came to me. He's been Xander ever since.
no, why Xander? ♡ I can't say exactly why Xander and I clicked. We just did. I didn't choose him in a one-way type situation. We chose one another.
are you a system/plural? do you have DID? ♡ no, no, and no. I know some people would consider soulbonders systems/plural, but I don't feel that describes me.
how old is he? ♡ he is 30 (4 years older than I). in the lore, we meet when we are 29 and 25, respectively. in my world, he ages with me. His birthday is 9/5.
sharing status? ♡ I am strictly nonsharing. Xander is my partner. (this is not to disparage those who share; this is simply my preference.)
lore? ♡ our lore is available via the writing page.
can my oc/sona interact with your sona? ♡ yes, as long as it is in a purely platonic context. please show me what you write/draw/etc!!
favorite beast form? ♡ goat and bat!
why not a real relationship? ♡ Xander IS my relationship. I have dated others in the past, but have been hurt pretty much every time. besides, a "real" romantic relationship isn't the end-all, be-all for my life; I've finally realized that. I have my family, my friends, my pets, my hobbies... I am not lacking in love. I am happy with my relationship with Xander.
how do you communicate with him? ♡ I intuit a lot, and get "vibes." sometimes I hear him speaking to me. it really just depends. on days where I am very low-energy (I am chronically ill), it's more just a feeling that he's there with me, but he is ALWAYS with me. I always sleep with my plushie of him, so he never goes un-cuddled or unloved.
what is your soulbond code? ♡ bF sM O.eV Sp.H^ i+++ SI+++ R? S-- A+ W++
other relationships? ♡ I have more casual self ships, namely Delia (Fallen Aces - nonsharing), the Preacher (Blood West Scavengers - mutuals only), the Undead Gunslinger (Blood West - mutuals only), and Oguri Cap, Ligth Hello, and Sirius Symboli (Uma Musume - OK sharing). I also have self ships that I've put on the backburner, but helped me a lot. As for platonic/familial relationships, Hat Kid (A Hat in Time) is a daughter figure to me, and Papa Emeritus II (Ghost) is a father figure. Grezzo (Gloomwood) is my sona's father in lore, but I do not feel a super strong connection to him.
